There is an echo in our home these days. Several weeks ago the first part of our move happened. The movers came and packed up everything that was to be placed in storage for the next three years. The morning they were to arrive, it didn't seem like it was a big deal. Until those things were gone.
I cried when they moved my dressers to the truck. They weren't anything special, but they were mine. And I have had them ever since I can remember. My mom says they were bought at an auction when I was a child. Cheap and used but again… mine. And with each knick and scrape that I put on them, a little bit more of myself went into them. They had moved back and forth from every apartment and town I have ever lived in. All those moves, but they were always there. Familiar. Comfortable. As they were carried out of the bedroom, it was like a piece of me went missing.
We spend all this time trying to fill up our lives, our homes, with belongings. Some are small, some are silly, and some are sentimental. We want to make ourselves comfortable. Some of the things that moved to storage were completely inconsequential. In fact, in three years, I am sure I won’t even remember I owned some of them.
What has been left behind is only what moves with us. The essentials. With the rest gone, my heart has felt a little hole open up. In my home, only an echo is left behind. It seems lonely in our home without our belongings. I am a lonely without them.
And yet these are just things. Oh, how I have cried over them. How will I handle being without my family... my friends… if this is how worked up I get over a beat up dresser?
Two nights ago another piece left. Just a baker's rack. Sold to the highest bidder. As these pieces are taken away one by one, I have to wonder who I will be without them. Who I will be without my relationships. Will the new experiences waiting overseas fulfill me the way I have hoped?
Don’t get me wrong, I am looking forward to this experience wholeheartedly. Yet still, I look forward to the day when all will be rejoined again. I look forward to the day when the echo that invades my home now will once again be filled with love and laughter of those that care for us.
And, of course, I can’t wait to see my dressers again! My clothes miss them!
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