The Itsy Bitsy Bug Count To Date

Two impossibly big brown spiders and two unbearably disgusting, overly large cockroaches. Kimono Hubby woke me today at 6:30 to tell me that he had just caught spider #2, a surprise when he went to use the toilet downstairs. Damn… that is my worst nightmare come true! Of course after he told me, I tried to go back to sleep for 30 more winks, but only dreamt of spiders and snakes. By 6:45, sleep had been deemed pointless.

Please know that I keep a very clean house. A different trash is taken out every day, but Sunday when there is no pick-up. I scrub the place once a week. Sure there are dishes in the sink overnight, but never have I found a bug in the kitchen… go figure.

The first spider was found hanging in my curtains, only noticeable because a slight breeze was blowing them in and this big dark shadow kept moving across the floor. Both were found during the day.

Both cockroaches were found scurrying to and fro the computer room upstairs. The first thought it could hide in KH’s overly cluttered and messy closet. He would have left it there, but my 15 minute shrieking about babies was enough to make him reconsider this position. My lesson to him is make sure not one damn piece of clothing remains on the floor at the end of the day. My closet is immaculate in this respect, but I will admit that it is only for the fear of pulling on a shirt with a roach inside of it that it remains in its cleanly state. The second cockroach was found less pleasantly. I sat down at the computer in the darkened room and began to type when something that had been making its quiet clicking tried to attach itself to my arm and upright itself. Don’t think that scream wasn’t heard across the prefecture.

My husband’s family arrives in less than a week. Do I tell them that we have both day and night visitors that might warrant a good thick pair of socks while they move about? Or do I not mention it and hope that they don’t discover our little surprises on their own? With no shoes being allowed past the front entrance of the house, it is more than a little difficult to get rid of these horrors in any good way. If you run for said shoe or a can of Raid, you are guaranteed to never find said bug again. Instead, I think I will just teach them my method… shriek loudly and make sure to prolong that last note until Kimono Hubby makes it to the room to secure your safety. It’s usually pretty effective and safe to the finder’s health, even if it does turn KH six different shades of angry red. As long as he wasn’t sleeping already. If he does happen to be sleeping, God help them… because I certainly ain’t gonna.