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Wednesday, September 10

A Love Letter to Home

I must admit to being a bit bummed these past days. I attribute it to a combination of the never-ending cough, my codeine-induced state-of-mind and pregnancy hormones. Looking at my life from the outside, you might think that I don’t have much to complain about. If you are thinking that, you are indeed somewhat right. We live well; we travel frequently; I don’t have to work if I don’t want to; and we are expecting the biggest miracle of our lives in a few weeks. All of this is certainly true, but there remains one gripe I have had since day one of living this far away from home… my friends and family are just not here with me. They are over 6,000 miles and one big ocean away.

Sure, modern technology allows me to call, email or connect with them in many ways, but there are actually many problems with this caused by any number of little things… time zones, email response waiting times, cell phones, expense of regular phones, fickle Skype... Frankly, I really miss just picking up the phone and calling my best friends and my family. The immediate satisfaction of being able to reach someone you really need them can never be overrated in my book. Thankfully, I have lovely friends and family that tell me that no time is a bad time to call them. I know they would be there, but to call them would only add to my misery, worsening whatever mope-y reason I was originally reaching out to them for. So I refrain from calling.

I actually had come to grips with this better as we moved through these past two plus years. There was less of a need to call because I truly felt less lonely. But then another heavy PCS season hit (people moving to new locations for those that don’t know military lingo). And I lost my closest friend here who moved to a seaside village in France. I certainly can’t blame her, but it didn’t make it easier. Again, chalk this up to a major dose of pregnancy hormones, coming down to the home stretch and feeling a little... well?... alone.

But then whenever I get sad, I love being blessed with a shimmer from a surprise silver lining, just when I am needing it the most.

Do you know where it keeps coming from? Those exact friends that I miss being able to easily pick up the phone and call back home.

This week it came from friends in Norfolk who sent us bibs, blankets and burp clothes. Last week, it was a Hawaiian outfit, lotions and blanket from a friend in Washington. A few weeks before it was a highchair, bowls, plates, spoons and another blanket from friends in DC. And there have been many, many more. It isn’t the gift that is the silver lining, although I adore each and every one. It is the fact that with each arriving package, I have been reminded that the friendship and love between us has not been lost or lessened by those thousands of miles and big, blue ocean between us.

I still wish I could grab the phone, call them up and tell them this just so they could hear in my voice how much their thoughtfulness and, more importantly, they themselves mean to me. Instead, I will tell the internet and hope that my love and appreciation is conveyed back to them through the hearts and minds of the random people that might read this. Oh yeah, and I’ll send a thank you card too. I’m not an ingrate.

Bless you for your love and caring. Always.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

it sounds like you need some PB and M&M's! :)
I can't wait till you're back here and we can call each other at the drop of a dime!

BB

Anonymous said...

Hi You! I have a funny story to make you laugh... pretty soon, you my friend are going to be one busy Momma..literally :) and pretty soon you will be back around all of us who love and miss you :)

Yu Ming Lui said...

Hey KK, hope you are feeling better. Can totally relate to your bouts of loneliness for close family and friends. It's certainly one of the biggest disadvantages of being an expat.

Being sick pulls your spirits lower than usual, so chin up and rest well in the meantime :-)

Kimono Karen said...

Thanks all! I am doing much better thanks to my lovely friends and family who reach out just when I need it the most. Soon, I will be too busy to even worry about it! Is that a good thing or a bad thing? :)