Funk

I’m in a funk. At least that is my assessment. KH thinks I actually have something physically wrong with me. I can’t remember a time where I have felt this fatigued, had so many low grade fevers and headaches or had ear pain like that which has settled into my left ear.

Like I said, I think it is just a funk. I feel overwhelmed with school work which I can’t seem to get any initiative going to do and get out of the way and it just isn’t like me to procrastinate. Plus, I just want to nap every half hour and feel seriously taxed if I have to walk up and down the stairs more than twice a day. I’m sleeping a bit better these days and even go to bed usually by midnight now and force myself up by 8. Not the best sleeping pattern but a definite improvement. And I am taking the melatonin. Every night. As directed. KH didn’t even have to and fell back into his normal sleep pattern only three days after returning home. I sometimes have take a booster sleep aid to get myself through the initial knockout. I had a great time in the states but I am glad to be home and back to what has now grown to be quite “normal” to me. So why am I procrastinating and dragging? A funk surely is the cause.

Kimono Hubby is still firmly planted on the side of me making a doctors appointment to fix whatever seems to be the problem. After the horror stories I have heard about that place, I would rather not and will continue to treat my symptoms on a case by case basis with my myriad of at home remedies combined with my new addiction to all sorts of cold drugs.

The bad part of this funk is that I really have nothing interesting to share. I barely dragged myself out of the house for a dinner party this past weekend and they probably wished I hadn’t bothered as I yelled every other response back to them due to the blockage that has recently ensconced itself in my ears. Other than that, I chose to remain in stretchy pants and t-shirts emblazoned with slogans that I would not dare wear in public in the comfort of my own home.

The rather interesting thing that I recently discovered as a result of my self-inflicted house arrest is that I just don’t care anymore if I am running around all day anymore. I even have begun to realize that all of the excessive running I used to do was really just to make myself feel like I had some sort of purpose in this world. Lately, purpose can be found while I am sitting at home with sometimes not even a single sound spoken or heard and not a single thing getting done. Have I just gotten lazy, you ask? Or maybe just old? I really don’t think it is that and I have instead just gotten… calm. Who knew that was inside of me? I am certainly not complaining as I am pretty fond of my new, found calmness. Even the thought of not writing something of interest to anyone hasn’t necessarily wrangled me away from my new friend. It will eventually. I think. I hope. But just not for now.

Perhaps it isn’t a funk but more of a combination of an illness that has overextended its stay sharing space with the plain fact that I am finding I am pretty happy just being quiet. For today anyway.

There’s still so much to see and do here and of course I will let you know about all of that. I actually need to start planning a trip we are making in February and need to go talk to a Japanese travel agent. I’m so sure that will be as easy of a task as every other has so far been. That task is actually on my schedule for tomorrow even though my calm and quiet ego is digging its heels in at the thought of cleaning up and leaving the house. I promised it ice cream if it was good and behaved in public which should help get me out of the door tomorrow morning. Errr… afternoon probably.