Musing Massachusetts

We spent the holiday weekend saying more goodbyes. I have to be honest though and admit that I didn’t cry on this one. I promise I am not being callous. Just more accustomed to this situation.

You see, we were saying our goodbyes to Kimono Hubby’s family. They live in Massachusetts so it isn’t like we get to see them a lot of time at any rate. Maybe two trips a year up there at most. Over time, they have gotten used to him not being around all the time either. We love them. I love them. But this almost felt like just another bi-yearly visit, albeit we will be going a little further away afterwards this time.

What hurt the most about this goodbye was seeing his mom saddened. It isn’t easy on her – or on either of our moms. They definitely are feeling the impact of this move the most outside of ourselves. We both talk to our moms almost every day and it seems natural to us, even though some of you right now are thinking that we are seriously batty mama’s babies. It just has always been that way and neither of us have ever questioned it. Now to see them tear up when we walk away from them is so much to bear. It feels like the first day we left our home lived all over again. It will never get easier.

And please don’t tell me… but technology!... You can email and talk on the internet and of course the telephone! Yes, this is true. But it isn’t just the communication. It’s the distance and not being able to make that fast trip home when we just need to feel the comfort and safety our homes provide us. And what about the trips we make when we just need to feel their loving arms around us? What if they are ill and just need us be at their side, holding their hand and helping them through? KH’s dad has been sick for some time and no one can tell him what is going on. I honestly don’t want to even think about how much this must weigh on both of their minds. Because when I do, I feel like cancelling the whole stupid move thing without another thought and heading straight to Massachusetts to help his family do every thing they can and get these doctors voicing a diagnosis and a cure.

I’m still hurting because I can’t be there for my mom to hold her hand while she moves past my grandmother’s hopeful recovery. I only pray that all understand that we are together in thought every single day, no matter where we… or they… are. If I think for even a moment that they don’t know that, I may cave and stay right where I am at and deny ourselves this opportunity of a lifetime. Everyone understands that this is a great opportunity. And not a soul would deny us this chance to live somewhere so extraordinary. But why does it have to be so hard to make that step and say adieu to the ones behind us?

We did have a lovely time up north visiting. We spent most of the time just with the family, while they stuffed us full of all of our favorite local foods. There was stuffed lobster, Portuguese biscuits, Portuguese donuts, Portuguese steak… those people can seriously cook! Of course, I couldn’t fit in anything when we got home and am now bound to stretchy pants and a strictly lettuce diet. There was a cookout on Sunday where we spent the day out in the sunshine under a canopy of grape vines and enjoying an afternoon and evening with friends. We even managed to swing a little trip to Newport in and toured the Breakers. I think I was born a Vanderbilt and somehow switched at birth. Someone get on with checking those old records out for me, will ya'?

We got home Tuesday afternoon. Back to our empty condo, that is yet so full of possibilities. We bring home with us visions of our family’s first trips over to see us and we are praying that it is soon.

And dear sister, you can stay however long you would like and no matter what KH says… even though I may regret saying that later on.

Much love until we see you all again!