Officially Allowed on the Sidewalk

Yet another bus drops us off in front of the Japanese DMV.

We walk in rather confused of whether to sit or stand or jump up and down on one foot. After standing cluelessly for a few minutes, we are called to the desk. Our information is entered in to the computer. Once completed, I am told, "eat line 8."

Huh? "What?"

"Eat line 8."

Kimono Hubby chimes in with "read line H."

"Where do you see a line H?" I ask him.

"On the wall... the eye chart."

"Oh, okay."

I see the eye chart but no line H. I see a normal everyday eyechart and figure, what the hell... and I read the lowest line on the eye chart back to him. The man never really responds. Either he thought I was a complete idiot or he just didn't care that I just read whatever line I felt like.

The man asks KH to read a line and he does so with no problems.

So what? He understands directions and I don't. This shouldn't be any sort of revelation.

Another man pops in the front door and tells me to "come along and wait" and then pops back out of the door. Again, I didn't quite understand so I just sit back down. And wait just like the man said. A few moments later, he is back and this time I understand that he wants me to follow him and says he "didn't mean wait but wait". I am now utterly lost but following in his footsteps.

He walks to a car and gets in. I play more monkey-see-monkey-do and get in the back seat. The woman in the driver seat begins her driving exam. She pulls out of the parking lot and immediately pulls onto the right side of the road... the wrong side here! He tries not to get excited but urges her back into the left lane and out of oncoming traffic. She drives under his direction and ends in a parking lot where he tells us to get out. I think we have already failed and has decided he won't take us back now. But really it is only for us to switch.

Into the drivers seat I go and fasten my seatbelt. He tells me to adjust the mirrors... I say they are fine because I have no idea how to adjust them. Except the center. (Am not that dim, thank you very much.) We pull out of the space and I actually have the turn signaling thing down! It's on the right, not the left as usual, and only once do I try to switch it on but because of the way I am pushing up, the windshield wipers do not go on and no one seems to notice. Then it is time to park. Everything is back in parking here because the spots are so tight and that you would probably die if you tried to back into the busy streets. So I go to switch us into reverse and hit the door where the gear shift should be. That's right! It's now on the left, I tell my dumb self. I back in with much trepidation and get myself into the tight spot in front of the DMV office. He says get out.

Have we failed? We aren't really sure because he never says. But Kimino Hubby and another person get in the car and he pulls away. We stand there on the curb trying to figure out what just happened. It's hot outside and I am melting so we decide to go back in and wait for his return. As soon as we cross the threshold, the man briskly commands us to the counter.

After confirming my name, he hands me a white plastic card with information printed in black. No picture on it. No congratulations-you-passed. Just a here-is-your-damn-Japanese-license-now-get-the-hell-out-and-try-not-to-kill-anyone-on-our-streets.

Thank you very much, sir! I will do my best!