I have a theory on this. I think the world spins faster on this side of the Earth and therefore when I take steps, my feet can't catch up with the sheer spped of which the Earth is moving and therefore I fall down. Any other theories? Because it can't be that I am just this clumsy.
This time I fell going into the bathroom at TGI Fridays. First, let me say that we only ate there because all we had was one hour before our next realtor appointment... and that isn't enough time to stare at all the plasty-food and figure out what it is, then try to eat it, allowing extra time for gag reflexes and all. So a teriyaki chicken sandwich at Fridays it was. Tasty!
I knew it would be hours before we were finished so I asked where the "toiletu" was which I hate asking because I hate that word. I tried bathrooms first but only got a blank stare. God, I do hate that word. I digress. She pointed me around the corner and off I went.
I opened the door, stepped over the vestibule and wiped out falling forward into the toilet, half under the sink, with my left hand still holding the door knob and my feet folded obtusely underneath me. Oh yeah, and I fell on my other knee... the good one. I am now bruised on both, thank you very much.
My first thought was that I wondered if anyone had seen me. Because I just can't stand anymore ground-time embarassment. So I just kind of laid back and peered around the corner. No one there! I casually got up and closed the door behind before I cried out in pain. Didn't want to look silly or anything.
Once I dusted myself off, I realized that I had just been sprawled on a public bathroom floor and now I would honor a shiny new realtor with toilet floor smell in their pretty car as they drove me around for a few hours. Truly an honor that I am bestowing on them.
I think I have a second theory. Maybe Kimono Hubby was half right. Not that my shoes are unstable as he said, because that is just plain nonsense. But I think it is safe to agree that there is definitely a problem. However, the problem lies in the fact that all of the shoes that I packed are broken. And therefore I can't walk correctly in them.
So, will someone please ship me some new shoes? If a certain someone gets a big Zappos box, I am pretty sure that will be the last anyone hears from me. But if it has my lovely friend's name on the return address label, I am safe! And everyone is happy and my knees can heal.
“Should We Give My Stepson His Mother’s Ashes?”
3 weeks ago
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4 comments:
Funny! I was thinking of you this morning as I was listening to a radio show down here in Boca Raton, FL for the past 2 days and the theme that the women did this morning was "falling down in public". I laughed my ass off at some the stories people called in with, but no matter how funny, yours still tops them all. Too bad you couldn't have called in too - ha ha!
Be safe and maintain secure footing where ever you travel!
toiletu...thats not too bad, i believe in most of europe or or at least germany they call them Wasser Haus, translating to water house, or Badder Zimmer--for bath room....hahahaha------jcl
I managed to remain upright throughout the weekend. A major improvement.
I could handle water house. I just hate the other word. Maybe i can teach the entire Japanese public that they should follow the European example.
They actually do have "WC" written on the door of some bathrooms in Japan, but most often you will, alas, have to ask for the "toy-ray". (Portuguese pronunciation? I don't know.) This is probably because the toilet is usually in a room all by itself, separate from the bath!
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