Search This Blog

Thursday, June 1

100 Things

Here are 100 things that you probably didn’t want to know about me but I am sharing with you anyway. Because I can.

1. I was born with white blond hair and am still a natural blond although these days I have help to make it purty.
2. My middle name is Nicole. I liked it so much that when I moved to a new school in my senior year, I told everyone I preferred it. Plus there was already another Karen and I just hated to be like anyone else.
3. I now pride myself on being slightly different although as a child I hated that I wasn’t like everyone else. It wasn’t until late in high school that I started accepting me for who I am. It took me until my late 20s to really love what I had made of myself. These days, I think I am pretty darn awesome.
4. I still have a long way to go, though.
5. My birthday is August 9th. As we move overseas in July, this will be my first year without my friends around to celebrate with a hard core night out. I hope I don’t spend the day crying because I miss them so much.
6. I was born in Gettysburg, PA. I love going home to slow down and spend time with family in Pennsylvania but I don’t think I will ever move back there. Very sad for my mommy.
7. I’ve lived in apartments or homes in Lancaster, Spring Grove, York, Spring Grove, Spring Grove, York, York, McLean, Alexandria, Alexandria, Alexandria, and finally Lorton in that order since graduating from high school. That’s 12 moves in 15 years. Restless spirit?
8. I’ve been a hostess, waitress, student, medical assistant, administrative assistant, bartender, retail manager, cold call sales person (one whole day!... I cried when they said no), customer service rep and production coordinator since high school. Indecisive maybe?
9. I use one whole walk-in closet at home all by myself. My clothes hang in color coded order, and within that classification, by sleeve length. Separate sections include tops, pants and skirts. I need to use a second closet for coats though because the darn things just won’t fit. I once counted all the articles of clothing that I own not including undies or socks. I will never, ever reveal that number.
10. I’m not OCD or anything, just anal retentive.
11. Like all great women (hail to Imelda Marcos!), I have a bit of a shoe collection. I don’t wear even a third of them but I love them all. I have bought three more pairs in the past week.
12. Coach really is the only brand of handbag that I consider. I try to not be such a snob but I just can’t let it go! The quality is excellent and the styles last forever. See… am practical! Not just squanderer!
13. I love, love, LOVE my Ipod. It was a gift from KH this past Christmas. I have six and a half days of music on it and counting. In the top 25 most played you would find Andy Williams (Moon River), Coldplay (The Scientist), Death Cab for Cutie (Title and Registration), Kelly Clarkson (Miss Independent), Dean Martin (That’s Amore), James Blunt (You’re Beautiful), The Spinners (I’ll Keep Working My Way Back to You) and the Pussycat Dolls (Don’t Cha). God help me.
14. I swear that I have never watched a whole show of American Idol. I know who has won maybe two seasons and I couldn’t care less. I like Kelly only after her first album came out.
15. I wish American Idol would die a slow and painful death forever and ever and take all other reality shows with it. Except for America’s Next Top Model. Who doesn’t love catty bitches in preposterous clothes and bizarre poses?
16. I wish I could go live on the island of Lost. I’ve got information that would help them! I could solve all their problems and get them to open up with one another! And I totally know the numbers to push for the button.
17. I’ve also tried to become a Gilmore Girl and move to Stars Hollow, CT. Did you know that the place doesn’t even exist?! Perhaps they would allow me to live on the set…
18. If you call my home during the hour that Lost or Gilmore Girls is on, I will answer, explain that you have called during my show, and I will hang up. No other words need be spoken. I have done this more than once.
19. Besides the first two, I can’t get enough of The O.C. and Desperate Housewives. Simple guilty pleasures.
20. After these four shows, I wish the television would cease to exist. Although my husband would spontaneously combust so I guess this can never happen.
21. I dream often about getting on the school bus with new shoes on or roller skates. I hate this dream because how could a girl with a closet like mine not wear appropriate foot attire?
22. After my childhood dog Gizmo died, I dreamt that my family went to the SPCA to get another doggy just like him. We found one but they were taking him out of his cage. We asked where they were taking him and they told us they “had to cut his ears off because they didn’t sell them like that anymore”. It was heartbreaking. What kind of a maniac cuts off a dog’s ears? I still have to remind myself that it was only a dream.
23. Gizmo was not the cutest dog. Yes, he had lovely ears that perked up like Gizmo in the Gremlins. But he was also pink. You see, Poor Gizzy had a skin disease that made him get very red. Since he was also missing a lot of hair because of this disease, the red glared from the few white hairs and gave him a pinkish tint. Hence the nickname Pinky that everyone learned to know and love him by.
24. Gizmo/Pinky was the best dog ever! I miss this pet more than any that have passed to this day. We used to put baby bonnets on Pinky! Green to bring out the pink of his skin.
25. There is a new best dog ever though! My doggy Bruiser is now living in Pennsylvania at my parent’s place. You see, he has a bit of an anxiety problem and we just won’t be able to move him with us. But he will come home to us when we move back! And I can’t wait to have my puppy back! Just please, Bruiser, stop peeing on the damn carpet.
26. I was pretty mean to my little brother growing up. I only had one and I never knew why I was so rough on him. Probably only years of deep psychological therapy will ever tell.
27. I’ve never been to a therapist although I’ve often thought I should. Then I realized that I am no more messed up than anyone else. So why bother?
28. I was a bit of a tomboy in my younger years. For our birthdays one year, both my brother and I asked for GI Joe guys. (His birthday is 4 days before mine.) I really wanted the Cobra twins. But my damn brother got them instead of me. When we played GI Joes, I was always good Joes and he was always the bad Cobras. Because I said so, that’s why! So we were play fighting in a big spring puddle one day with our Hydroplane and I killed one of the twins! He fell to his death in the murky waters below. I stomped him in the mud… deep. Never to be found again and rescued from his muddy grave. Now my brother didn’t have the twins either.
29. See? Told you. Mean.
30. But only to my little brother. I acted the part of an angel to anyone else.
31. One day, in my brother’s early teens, he hit me. I never messed with him again.
32. In high school, I fancied myself an artist. I spent all free hours in the art room painting and drawing and making crap. My teachers said I was something special and that I had a lot of potential. My parent’s encouraged me to do something with my skills. That never panned out.
33. The move to a new school at the start of my senior year gave me a new art teacher. He said I sucked. I got a D for the first time ever in an art class. I let him steal away all of my enthusiasm for creating art.
34. I will never let anyone take anything away from me like that again.
35. Before that happened, a friend and I dreamed of owning our own gallery some day. The walls would be filled with my work and she would play the piano to fill the room with music. She still teaches piano in her spare time. But I don’t think we will ever see our gallery realized.
36. One day, I will have one dream realized though. I will own a flower shop. It will have a small town, romantic feel and the walls will be painted yellow. Those walls will be covered with the art of local talents who have the enthusiasm still that I lost so many years ago. Every floral display that leaves the front door will be unique and beautiful and crafted especially for the receiver. I don’t care if I make money in my flower shop. I just want to create the work… an art in its own right... and to regain a smidge of that old enthusiasm for art for arts sake.
37. I once painted black footprints on the ceiling of my bedroom. With my feet. My cousin pushed me around the room on top of a dresser while I kicked and kicked at the ceiling. That was the day of my mother’s first near-heart attack.
38. When I ran out of walls and ceilings to draw on, I turned to my body. I have three tattoos. The first, a little, springy daisy. The second, a warm, summery sunflower. The third a large design that I crafted and placed on my lower back. A friend once told me that it looked like fallopian tubes and started calling me “Fallop”. I still am very mad over that comment. She is no longer a friend. For other reasons entirely, but that one didn’t help her cause.
39. I wasn’t much on the piercings. It looked cool especially in a nose but I prefer my eccentricities to be slightly more hidden. I have two holes in each ear. There used to be more. So glad I grew out of that rebellious stage.
40. The top holes only ever bear tiny diamonds. A Christmas gift from my daddy. I never take them out.
41. Tennis is the only sport I can play. And even that I am not an expertly skilled at.
42. Any sport that involves running will just never be part of my favorite repertoire. I do go to the track to get some semblance of exercise. I hate it more than anything else in this world.
43. Power Yoga at 6 am is about the only thing I do on any regular basis. The man that does this on TV is very perky. I hate perky in the mornings.
44. In fact, I hate mornings. I growl and I don’t like to be touched or spoken to at least until after 9 am. To be on the safe side, you should probably wait until 10 am.
45. My work hours are from 8:30 am to 5:30 pm. The morning grumpiness has always sort of posed a problem for work. But I have worked my current job long enough that most people know not to call too early. If they must, I hope they understand that one word answers are all I can muster. Even that could end up just being a grunt.
46. There is only one way to get me moving in the morning… offer me Diet Coke. I used to drink more than a six pack a day but I have since healthied myself up a bit and now only drink the original eye opener.
47. No other caffeine source is acceptable. I don’t like coffee except for the smell. They just don’t put enough sugar in juice. Milk without chocolate just isn’t natural. But I will bend the rules on occasion for a Dr. Pepper.
48. The only other thing I drink during the day is water. And the occasional cup of hot tea. None of the iced crap though! No wonder the English pooh-pooh us so much. Icing every damn drink down like the sissies that we are.
49. If you are going to mix my Diet Coke with anything, the only acceptable choice is the Captain. 50. And then the Captain introduced his son, Parrot Bay. Mix it with pineapple and cranberry and you have yourself a darn good cocktail. Hmm… Looks like I do drink at least one juice of sorts.
51. It never hurts to begin the night with a Mandarin and Red Bull. Although if you are smart, you will quit after one or face the demons of the Technicolor yawn the following day.
52. The worst hangover I ever had was after my bachelorette party. They made me wear a big, ole penis with fun stuff to do on it. There were multiple shots listed for me to consume. The final was to do a shot in every color of the rainbow. A good friend made it better for me and put it in one glass. To this day it was the single most horrible thing I have ever ingested. I was sent home the following day with puke in my hair and a hangover so bad that I couldn’t stand to hear bottles clink together for months afterwards. I spent two days in bed and had the shakes every time I stood up.
53. I’ve only had two bones broken. My collarbone broke when I rolled off a table as a baby. I know. Who puts a baby on a table? But I was the first and was some sort of test project, I think. The second broken bone was during a pillow fight when someone got a little two close and broke my nose in their swing. I passed out instantly and to this day have a crooked nose. Because of COURSE we didn’t think to go to a hospital. They just handed me another drink!
54. I have only passed out three times in my life. Once for the stated pillow injury. Another time waiting two hours in the sun for the newest water ride at Hershey Park. And the third in art class in high school. I climbed up some shelving and with my art in one hand and the other hanging on to the shelving unit, I jumped off to get back down. Only my class ring and finger stayed put to leave me dangling from the top of the shelves. When I got down, I showed the injury to the teacher but honestly don’t recollect much of the immediate afterward. Shock or something silly like that. She sent me to the nurse’s office. I walked the hallway alone, into the nurse’s room and hit the floor only just after removing the dented ring and flinging it across the room.
55. The ring was fixed but I never had the guts to wear it again.
56. To this day I could light the one side of my finger on fire and never feel it. Cool party trick.
57. I convulse something crazy when I pass out. What a freak show!
58. My first kiss was with a boy at a campground who hunted frogs with me in the lake. I was 14 or 15 and very gangly. We snuck out very early the morning that he was leaving for home to say goodbye. My father caught me on the way back to our campsite. It was my poor parent’s first taste of what I would put them through in the next several years.
59. I made a list of lists of things to do before I die.
60. One is a list of books to read before I die. There are over 600 books on the list. If I read 20 a year, I can die in 30 years with the list completed.
61. Two is a list of all 50 states that I must visit before I die. 25 down, 25 to go.
62. Three is a list of all of the continents, of which I must also go to each before I die. Only two down so far but I am fast approaching number three.
63. Four is a list of all the restaurants I must try in the DC area before I die. I will never. Ever. Complete this.
64. Five is a list of the reasons why you don’t want to read about all of my lists.
65. I am a list maker in more ways than this alone. I write a list every day just to get myself through to sunset. I still say it isn’t a disorder.
66. I am extremely susceptible to commercials.
67. I will quote those commercials repeatedly until someone breaks down and buys me whatever nonsense I am after.
68. I once ran around my house for a half an hour yelling “Domino’s Dots are Coming!” What do you know… someone had them delivered to shut me up.
69. I also bought Maybelline lipstick that had “diamonds” in them because I just needed my lips to sparkle like the girl in the pretty pictures. My lips were stained a shade of fuchsia pink for three days afterward.
70. I have a lot of needs. We shall not go there again.
71. I really love the Steelers. And I really love that I saw them for the first time ever this year. Another gift from the wonderful Kimono Hubby!
72. I also love that they won the Superbowl this year. Just for me! Because they just knew that I wasn’t going to be able to get up at 6 am and watch them while living in Japan.
73. Beer and hot wings are the only acceptable foods for football Sundays. The day should be spent at Southside doing mass consumptions with intermittent screams and tears over the game. I am really going to miss those Sundays spent there.
74. If I were stuck on a deserted island, I could survive on pizza, grape leaves and strawberries. I wonder if Widmore Labs delivers those things...
75. I count calories like a fiend. The doctor tells me that it is the best way to lose weight. Stick with a 1,200 calorie diet. I’m starving but I am doing it. Well, he actually also said to exercise more, but what does he know?
76. I eat salads every day to maintain my meager caloried diet. I. Hate. Lettuce. I end up picking half of the lettuce off and throwing it out. No matter how hungry I am, I will not eat the stupid lettuce. And you can’t make me.
77. I believe that tiny people live in my pillowcase. These people like to party! They also like to only come out at night. So I insist that whenever I go to bed, all pillows must be open end out so the tiny people can come out and get down! Aren’t I just so darn nice for doing that for them?
78. It drives me crazy when the toilet paper is pulled from the underside. People, it just isn’t right! I have been known to change it at friend’s houses. Perhaps they don’t notice.
79. The first thing I do when I come home is go through the mail. Do not pass go. Proceed directly to the mail stack. I go through it piece by piece and sort it into the toss pile, the keep and peruse on a later day pile and the keep and peruse at the end of checking the rest of the mail pile. I do not even think about going to the bathroom before I get through the pile. No matter how bad I should. The mail comes first.
80. I receive approximately 30 catalogs a week, 5 a day not counting Sunday. You wouldn’t believe the selection I receive even if I tried to tell you. Recently I started getting catalogs for tools. I’ve never bought a tool but now I might start. We have to take our trash out every two days because the catalogs will fill the can daily.
81. It is a wonderful thing to drive down a street on any given night and see houses with their windows open. Please don’t call the police but I like to look in people’s windows. I only care a little about what they are doing. I mostly want to see how they decorate. Bonus if they are watching TV and I can figure out what they are watching and maybe even make fun of them for their reality show habits.
82. There isn’t a movie made that I wouldn’t watch.
83. I often have the opposite reaction to the movie than the producer intended.
84. I love me some chick flicks! To this day, I can watch Doc Hollywood over and over again. It is the ultimate TV dreamland movie. Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Boy goes to LA. Boy decides he wants girl instead of fancy schmancy job and car. Boy goes back to girl in boonies and says “I don’t want LA… I want you!” Bullshit. Only in the movies could that ever happen.
85. I also really like independent films and foreign flicks. Movies should either make you think or entertain the pants off of you. No one ever goes to see the movies you have to read with me and I have never understood why.
86. I used to watch a lot of horror movie series. Like all of the Halloween movies one after the other. It didn’t matter if it took me all day and all night. I watched Hostel the other night and laughed when the crazy man sliced his captive’s Achilles tendons. Perhaps I have become desensitized from the multitude of these viewings.
87. Then again, maybe those movies scare me a little. When there is no one at home, that is when I like to watch my horror flicks. I get curled up on the couch with my Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked and enjoy the show. The only problem is that I can’t get off the couch after it’s over because of the monsters that live under there. They might bite my poor little feet! Perhaps having someone in the house when I watch them makes me cockier.
88. I am extremely thin-skinned. I would never let anyone see it directly but I will walk away with big, fat tears in my eyes at often the most innocent of comments.
89. I also can be quite sassy. And a bit headstrong. And maybe even a little bit irrational.
90. Everyone has a best feature. I think mine is my hair. It gets all kinds of compliments that make me all giddy inside.
91. This is kind of surprising because I do not take compliments well. Or at all. I always throw something negative back at the complimenter. A habit I am desperately trying to amend.
92. I kind of like my legs too. My daddy says that I have my mommy’s legs when she was a hot young thing and out on the town in her skimpy minis.
93. My childhood was much like the show All in the Family.
94. I have my dad’s knobby knees. I have included my own battle scars to them throughout the years. Including a nice, long, purple scar where I ate pavement while on my bike that one time.
95. And I have my mom’s pixie ears. And I mean they stick the heck out. On my wedding day, I had an updo done. Even my hairdresser made the remark of how hard is was to hide those babies.
96. I am fiercely protective of my family. They may be crazy. But they are mine. Especially my mommy. Don’t even think about messing with her.
97. My friends are what give me life. Without them, I wouldn’t want to get out of bed in the morning.
98. I was blessed with wonderful in-laws. In fact, they don’t like to be considered that. We are family. Period. Sure they may be crazy too. Just like my own family! But that’s why they fit so well with me and I with them.
99. My husband is everything. Simply everything.
100. I type very, very fast which is fortunate for my listing habit and especially this tirade.


Anonymous said...

Ha..Ha..Karen you should seriously write a book..and with typing skills like you have, it wouldnt take long!I love your kept my short attention span and thats saying alot.. I even got a little teary-eyed when I envisioned little pinky....

Anonymous said...

1. Gizmo - the UGLIEST dog that ever lived - bar none. (Rest his little soul.) But God it was fun blow drying and painting his nails after we bathed him. And remember the "wrestling ring" we built in the living room of your old house. Gizmo went bonkers every time you and Jeff "wrestled" him.
2. OMG - the black footprints. Hysterical! I had forgotten about that!
3. Your first kiss - wasn't that at Ocean View Campground? Jodi and I got such a kick out of spying on you with that boy!
4. I can't believe you left out the Ocean City police incident. Remember? Professional volleyball players - out till 2am - Uncle Ron wouldn't speak to us for a very long time after that one!
5. I cracked up w/the "people in your pillowcase" story.
6. God help me, we are definitely related - I flip the toilet paper over too!!! Drives me crazy!!
7. Ok - me too with the mail - except I'm famous for taking the mail with me to the bathroom to sort through. What can I say - I'm a multi-tasker.
8. I'm right behind you w/those magazines...about 2 a day.
8. Aaaaccckkkk - we should both be arrested. Bill thinks I'm the biggest freak for wanting to walk in our neighborhood in the evenings so that I can look in windows and check out color schemes and decorating habits too!!!!! (So glad I'm not alone!)
9. Scary movies - I can get off the couch, but while viewing the movie, my feet must remain up on the couch the entire time. And then when I go to bed, I jump from a few feet away (so the monsters living under my bed can't grab my ankles), quickly cover myself up and then lay very, very still. (If I dont' move, they won't know that I'm there.)
10. One last thing - you mentioned the ears, but not the Myrick toes. Odd - are you trying to deny that you come from a family with the longest toes ever? Oh, who am I to pick on you for that? Mine must be the stubbiest ever. When I was pregnant, they would swell up like snausages. (Yes, the doggie treats.)
11. And here's another memory for you. "WHEN I'M BACK ON MY FEET AGAIN..." Oh how we loved to harrass your Mom (and her animals - poor bird! Did that tail feather ever grow back?)

Love it all!!

Kimono Karen said...

1. Yes, it was the infamous Ocean View.
2. Dad still hasn't forgiven me for that beach incident. It was actually 4 am!
3. I don't think we could technically be called voyeurs. I only once leaned in and pressed my nose up to a window and it was in Dupont and I was very drunk.
4. Yep, the toes are a bit nasty toe, I guess. But I kind of like them like that. I could eat with my feet!
5. That bird DIED! I think we impacted its poor little rearend when we tried to put the feather back in.

robyn said...

#52- love it!! what a great time! and what a great friend- she had to go to Staples to get that penis laminated for you. and lesson learned- do not ask someone to do 'a shot for every color of the rainbow.' that was not a good idea. but we do have lots of lasting memories from the night out!

Anonymous said...

#77... hillarious. i was totally ignorant of the tiny people inhabiting the inside of my pillowcase... :)